Milo and me are just sitting here.
Have you watched TV much lately? So much reality crazy, nutty, and just out there stuff. I have seen little people, Bigfoot, UFOs, lots of Police reality stuff. You can watch what ever you want. I do admit, I like a lot of the stuff. I watch the Bigfoot people, hoping someone will actually get that perfect picture. Maybe someone will find a Bigfoot body, or maybe Bigfoot will just walk up and say, " BOO ".
The police reality shows are fun. Getting to see drunk people try and walk a straight line. Hold a foot up and out for ten seconds. It is silly, but sad. You know those drunks were actually driving a car just before the cop gets them. Scary when you think about that. How many drunks are out there right now driving?
I like the UFO. people. They all seem so smart and highly educated. The fact is, do we know what is out there? My take is the universe is so big, there must be more than us, I hope. I hope they, the aliens, are in interested in us, like we are of them. I don't want to be alien food." To serve man " a great Twilight Zone episode where people are on a space ship. They find a book titled " To serve man ". They think the aliens are going to take care of them until they realize the book is a cook book!!!!!!
So many channels to watch. When I was a kid we had five or six channels, one was the religious channel, but now, whoa, where do you begin.
Friday, September 18, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Fluency blog 7 Trees
Milo and I have been sitting here all morning doing homework. We have a guest, one of the cats, Oliver, is having a nice nap on some of my homework. Why do cats like boxes and paper?
I like tress. There are so many here in southwest Missouri. I am from Southern Arizona. People think there are no trees there. They would be mistaken. The desert has many wonderful trees. The Mesquite, The Palo Verde, The Saguaro cactus, The Ocotillo to just name a few. The desert can be full of green. There are many places where the Saguaro cactus grow like a forest.
The flowers are wonderful. the big cactus plants have some very colorful flowers. The Saguaro flower is beautiful. There are many places in the desert where wild flowers bloom like crazy. There is a spot between Tucson and Phoenix where the wild flowers are famous for the amount and the beauty they give.
Yes, I like trees. I like the trees here in Missouri. The Walnut, The Pecan, The Ash, The Box elder, The Oak, The Elm, The Dogwood and the Elm to name a few. When I moved here I was so surprised about how many trees there are in Missouri. There are over 50 common types. I have Some property outside Seymour Mo. and the place has many trees. The view from my porch is amazing. The trees in spring and summer are so full, it feels like you could walk from tree top to tree top. My son got married on the property. The pictures are perfect. He and his wife could have not picked a more wonderful spot.
Here is a funny story about Walnut trees. When I first moved here from Arizona, I noticed that one of the trees had a fruit. Well I thought it was a fruit. I asked my mother in law and she said " What fruit? " Well I showed her and she got a laugh. I was holding a walnut. Where I am from there is a lot of citrus trees. The walnut looked like a un-ripe orange. I learned something new that day.
I do love the beauty and the strength of the tree. It is so wonderful that we have so many different trees all over south west Missouri.
Thank you, Scott Hasemeier.
I like tress. There are so many here in southwest Missouri. I am from Southern Arizona. People think there are no trees there. They would be mistaken. The desert has many wonderful trees. The Mesquite, The Palo Verde, The Saguaro cactus, The Ocotillo to just name a few. The desert can be full of green. There are many places where the Saguaro cactus grow like a forest.
The flowers are wonderful. the big cactus plants have some very colorful flowers. The Saguaro flower is beautiful. There are many places in the desert where wild flowers bloom like crazy. There is a spot between Tucson and Phoenix where the wild flowers are famous for the amount and the beauty they give.
Yes, I like trees. I like the trees here in Missouri. The Walnut, The Pecan, The Ash, The Box elder, The Oak, The Elm, The Dogwood and the Elm to name a few. When I moved here I was so surprised about how many trees there are in Missouri. There are over 50 common types. I have Some property outside Seymour Mo. and the place has many trees. The view from my porch is amazing. The trees in spring and summer are so full, it feels like you could walk from tree top to tree top. My son got married on the property. The pictures are perfect. He and his wife could have not picked a more wonderful spot.
Here is a funny story about Walnut trees. When I first moved here from Arizona, I noticed that one of the trees had a fruit. Well I thought it was a fruit. I asked my mother in law and she said " What fruit? " Well I showed her and she got a laugh. I was holding a walnut. Where I am from there is a lot of citrus trees. The walnut looked like a un-ripe orange. I learned something new that day.
I do love the beauty and the strength of the tree. It is so wonderful that we have so many different trees all over south west Missouri.
Thank you, Scott Hasemeier.
Fuency blog six
Milo can curl up and put his nose under his tail like a ball, at least his nose is warm.
Teachers are wonderful. The education that is required to teach is a lot. Teachers have to start with a BS. in education. That is not the end. Continuing education must go on through their career. Pay is not very good. To compare a teacher with a person in the private sector, the person in the private sector makes money, gets better benefits.
Now you might think, "Why would after spending four to five years going to college, spending all that money and time would someone pick a carear like teaching. Well simply, they love what they do. I have heard it called getting the teaching bug, that bug bites. The amount of education a teacher must have is huge, the pay and benefits, small, very small.
Why do they do it? Its not the money. The ones who do stay and teach do it because they know it matters. They know that they are making a difference.
Teachers are wonderful. The education that is required to teach is a lot. Teachers have to start with a BS. in education. That is not the end. Continuing education must go on through their career. Pay is not very good. To compare a teacher with a person in the private sector, the person in the private sector makes money, gets better benefits.
Now you might think, "Why would after spending four to five years going to college, spending all that money and time would someone pick a carear like teaching. Well simply, they love what they do. I have heard it called getting the teaching bug, that bug bites. The amount of education a teacher must have is huge, the pay and benefits, small, very small.
Why do they do it? Its not the money. The ones who do stay and teach do it because they know it matters. They know that they are making a difference.
creedo
I know love. I know what it is to feel love. I know the pain of love The loss of love The joy of love. Can we love things? A car, a house, chair?. I learned how to love from Tami. I love Tami. I miss Tami. She has been gone for over five years. I love my kids, Brandon, Sarah and Adam. I love my wife Laurie. She and I both know the pain of love. We both lost our spouses. She loves me, she loves Mike Mile loves her We don't have Tami or Mike, but we have each other, we have love.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
I love to hold my wifes hand. happiness wamth don't knok he over laurie is fun who cares makes me happy we do it automaticly. we hold hand in the car we hold hands everywhere. I have always liked hand holding I always get a warm feeling from doing so first gielfriend 1976 ford ltd memories of holding tamis hand that first night we met tami is first wife we held hands al the time. kids reach for mom and ad automaticly. smilesbrings us closer hold hand in sleep sometimes can you hold a dogs hand paw never nervous fair 1982 madhouse on McDowell I just love it so normal see old people holding hands Im old I am almost 50
My credo - This I beleve Love all
Milo sure likes to sleep while I am doing homework, can you hear him snoring?
This I believe, love can heal all. Love. What is it? What does it mean? The dictionary says love ; a strong feeling of affection, devotion and concern for another. Love to me, it is a way of life. Love can overcome the worst of problems.
I used to be an angry man. I would let so many things bother me. I would get mad at the wind blowing the wrong way. I would come home from wherever and someone or something would have me pissed off. I would take it out on walls, furniture or anything I could pick up and smash. This is not love. The love of my life, my wife had enough. She was scarred, more than scared, worried for the safety of herself and my son. My son was five years old at that time. She came to me one day, with all the strength and love in her heart and told me to leave, not for good, but to leave and don't come back until I got help. She was firm in her conviction that I had to get out. I was crying like a baby, terrified, scared, but she was right She loved me very much. Tears just came to my eyes when I wrote that. I will tell you why later.
My mom was a counselor. I went to her and she had been expecting me. Mom knew I had a bad anger problem, but as a counselor she knew she could not help me until I wanted help. Mom gave me a big envelope full of information on where to go and who to see. I realized that she had been compiling this information for a while. She hoped some day I would come to her for help.
I started to go through the info mom gave me. I had so much information I wasn't sure where to start. Mom told me who she thought I should see and so began my road to redemption.
I didn't know what to expect from a men's group. I had never been involved in any type of counselling . I had an open mind, I wanted to do what ever I needed to do to fix the problem. You see that's one of the sad truths about when you abuse someone. Their memories are always the same. They can forgive and they can still love, but the memories of the abuse is burned into their soul. This I had not yet learned. I was still thinking I could fix the problem. I tell you writing about this hurts so bad. This happened twenty four years ago. Time and distance help, but even the reality of time can't change what I did.
I went to a men's group that was actually for men who had been ordered by the court system to seek counseling as part of their sentencing requirements. I was allowed in with permission to this group with help from my mom's boss. The people who ran this group came highly recommended. It was nice that I was able to become part of the group, they worked only with men who had been convicted of some sort of domestic violence. I was lucky that I had not been convicted of any violent crime. I was a real mean son of a bitch I had so much misplaced anger. I will say it again, I am lucky I have never been arrested or convicted of a violent crime or domestic abuse. I am a big man. Six foot two, 260 lbs and at that time a lot more muscle. I was 27 years old.
I started the group therapy with about six other men. I can't give their names, but we were a mixed group. We came from different backgrounds and classes of society. There was a car sales man, an ex-cop, he was huge, towered over me, a radio deejay, a construction worker, a doctor and me. This was an interesting bunch. We all told our stories of why we were there and what we had hoped to learn from the group. I was surprised at how much we all had in common , as far as violence problems. Yet, we were all so different in the lives we lead.
The Dr. in charge of the group was a small, very nice man. I would also go see him one on one once a week along with the weekly group sessions. I learned a lot about why I was acting the way I was, but most importantly, I was learning the importance of how my actions were mentally damaging my wife and son. The act of smashing things and yelling and screaming while breaking all the furniture in the house is the same as, if not worse than hitting someone. I had no idea of the mental scarring I was doing to my family. I never laid a hand on my wife or son , but the violence I was doing was worse. When someone is physically abused, they usually know what to expect. When some one is being mentally abused, they don't know what to expect. With that said, physical abuse is not better, I am just showing why mental abuse is worse.
I felt so much shame at what I had done to my family. I didn't know or realize the damage I was doing. This knowledge was painful and powerful. I wanted to not be me anymore. I would buy my wife gifts to make her happy, but she made me stop. She said not to try to use gifts to make her happy, she wanted me to learn what I was doing to her and my son. She told me to keep learning about myself. I did what she asked. She was my world and I hurt her in a way that is inexcusable.
The process of healing, becoming a better man, a better person takes time. This process of spending weeks or months in therapy is just the beginning. This process of change, learning to understand what I had done wrong, what I needed to fix, this will continue for life. You can't take a six week or three month group therapy program and think " I'm cured ", nope. The group therapy was a great start for me, but this process of healing, learning, becoming a good husband and father, this is a forever commitment
I learned so much about who I was and why I was acting the way I was. The sad reality is that we do hurt the ones we love. I had heard that saying before in my life ,but didn't know the meaning until that time. I learned that I can control nobody but myself. The actions of others is not under my control. This is one of the problems that a lot of young men face in a relationship. They believe that they have the right to control their partner. This comes from feelings that a young man thinks that it is his duty to protect his family. The one problem with this idea is that a young mans partner has their own life to live. This was one of the most important things that I learned.
I learned to share my feelings, speak my mind and yes it is okay to get mad but know how to handle those feelings. I left that group learning so much about how to treat myself and others in a positive way. Most important, I learned that my wife is her own person who I cannot control. Her life is hers to do what she wants. I can't control her in any way. I had to learn that I needed to talk with people about situations that made me upset. Just don't walk away full of anger. Let the feelings out in a positive way.
This concept was freedom to me. I felt calm. I felt at peace with myself. I knew that words are just that , words. Can the words that people say make you feel bad?, yes, but can they hurt you physically?, no. If someone puts up a middle finger, I just smile and say "Have a nice day" and move on. It works. I am older now, maybe the fact that I have gotten older has made me open up myself. I enjoy the small things of life. Birds chirping, trees changing with the season. I am hopefully becoming a kind gentle soul.
Over the years since I went to the group therapy I have become, gentler, kinder. I go out of my way to help people. I hold doors for anyone. I give people smiles. I show love. That's my credo. Love, love to all, and love can set you free. The simplest things in life are wonderful. It took me a long time to figure that out. I have days when I get upset, mad at the world, we all do. But I do my best to forgive and move on. Using the knowledge that I have now learned made every day with my wife and son, and soon after, my daughter, wonderful. My son became a star student and is now a chemist. My daughter just graduated from OTC. But my wife, that wonderful, beautiful woman, passed away from stomach cancer.
That wonderful woman, my wife Tamara passed away from cancer five and half years ago. That's the tears I was talking about earlier. Oh how I love her. She taught me so much about what it meant to be loved She helped me become a wonderful dad and husband. Before I started my road to redemption, I never stopped to realize how wonderful and beautiful she really was. I knew she was an attractive woman but her heart, her soul, she had so much love inside. She didn't want things. She just wanted a roof over her head, a place to sleep and to have her family around her .She taught me about love and the power of love and that sometimes to love, you have to be tougher and stronger than you never thought you could .This I believe, love can heal all.
A true story by Scott Hasemeier.
This I believe, love can heal all. Love. What is it? What does it mean? The dictionary says love ; a strong feeling of affection, devotion and concern for another. Love to me, it is a way of life. Love can overcome the worst of problems.
I used to be an angry man. I would let so many things bother me. I would get mad at the wind blowing the wrong way. I would come home from wherever and someone or something would have me pissed off. I would take it out on walls, furniture or anything I could pick up and smash. This is not love. The love of my life, my wife had enough. She was scarred, more than scared, worried for the safety of herself and my son. My son was five years old at that time. She came to me one day, with all the strength and love in her heart and told me to leave, not for good, but to leave and don't come back until I got help. She was firm in her conviction that I had to get out. I was crying like a baby, terrified, scared, but she was right She loved me very much. Tears just came to my eyes when I wrote that. I will tell you why later.
My mom was a counselor. I went to her and she had been expecting me. Mom knew I had a bad anger problem, but as a counselor she knew she could not help me until I wanted help. Mom gave me a big envelope full of information on where to go and who to see. I realized that she had been compiling this information for a while. She hoped some day I would come to her for help.
I started to go through the info mom gave me. I had so much information I wasn't sure where to start. Mom told me who she thought I should see and so began my road to redemption.
I didn't know what to expect from a men's group. I had never been involved in any type of counselling . I had an open mind, I wanted to do what ever I needed to do to fix the problem. You see that's one of the sad truths about when you abuse someone. Their memories are always the same. They can forgive and they can still love, but the memories of the abuse is burned into their soul. This I had not yet learned. I was still thinking I could fix the problem. I tell you writing about this hurts so bad. This happened twenty four years ago. Time and distance help, but even the reality of time can't change what I did.
I went to a men's group that was actually for men who had been ordered by the court system to seek counseling as part of their sentencing requirements. I was allowed in with permission to this group with help from my mom's boss. The people who ran this group came highly recommended. It was nice that I was able to become part of the group, they worked only with men who had been convicted of some sort of domestic violence. I was lucky that I had not been convicted of any violent crime. I was a real mean son of a bitch I had so much misplaced anger. I will say it again, I am lucky I have never been arrested or convicted of a violent crime or domestic abuse. I am a big man. Six foot two, 260 lbs and at that time a lot more muscle. I was 27 years old.
I started the group therapy with about six other men. I can't give their names, but we were a mixed group. We came from different backgrounds and classes of society. There was a car sales man, an ex-cop, he was huge, towered over me, a radio deejay, a construction worker, a doctor and me. This was an interesting bunch. We all told our stories of why we were there and what we had hoped to learn from the group. I was surprised at how much we all had in common , as far as violence problems. Yet, we were all so different in the lives we lead.
The Dr. in charge of the group was a small, very nice man. I would also go see him one on one once a week along with the weekly group sessions. I learned a lot about why I was acting the way I was, but most importantly, I was learning the importance of how my actions were mentally damaging my wife and son. The act of smashing things and yelling and screaming while breaking all the furniture in the house is the same as, if not worse than hitting someone. I had no idea of the mental scarring I was doing to my family. I never laid a hand on my wife or son , but the violence I was doing was worse. When someone is physically abused, they usually know what to expect. When some one is being mentally abused, they don't know what to expect. With that said, physical abuse is not better, I am just showing why mental abuse is worse.
I felt so much shame at what I had done to my family. I didn't know or realize the damage I was doing. This knowledge was painful and powerful. I wanted to not be me anymore. I would buy my wife gifts to make her happy, but she made me stop. She said not to try to use gifts to make her happy, she wanted me to learn what I was doing to her and my son. She told me to keep learning about myself. I did what she asked. She was my world and I hurt her in a way that is inexcusable.
The process of healing, becoming a better man, a better person takes time. This process of spending weeks or months in therapy is just the beginning. This process of change, learning to understand what I had done wrong, what I needed to fix, this will continue for life. You can't take a six week or three month group therapy program and think " I'm cured ", nope. The group therapy was a great start for me, but this process of healing, learning, becoming a good husband and father, this is a forever commitment
I learned so much about who I was and why I was acting the way I was. The sad reality is that we do hurt the ones we love. I had heard that saying before in my life ,but didn't know the meaning until that time. I learned that I can control nobody but myself. The actions of others is not under my control. This is one of the problems that a lot of young men face in a relationship. They believe that they have the right to control their partner. This comes from feelings that a young man thinks that it is his duty to protect his family. The one problem with this idea is that a young mans partner has their own life to live. This was one of the most important things that I learned.
I learned to share my feelings, speak my mind and yes it is okay to get mad but know how to handle those feelings. I left that group learning so much about how to treat myself and others in a positive way. Most important, I learned that my wife is her own person who I cannot control. Her life is hers to do what she wants. I can't control her in any way. I had to learn that I needed to talk with people about situations that made me upset. Just don't walk away full of anger. Let the feelings out in a positive way.
This concept was freedom to me. I felt calm. I felt at peace with myself. I knew that words are just that , words. Can the words that people say make you feel bad?, yes, but can they hurt you physically?, no. If someone puts up a middle finger, I just smile and say "Have a nice day" and move on. It works. I am older now, maybe the fact that I have gotten older has made me open up myself. I enjoy the small things of life. Birds chirping, trees changing with the season. I am hopefully becoming a kind gentle soul.
Over the years since I went to the group therapy I have become, gentler, kinder. I go out of my way to help people. I hold doors for anyone. I give people smiles. I show love. That's my credo. Love, love to all, and love can set you free. The simplest things in life are wonderful. It took me a long time to figure that out. I have days when I get upset, mad at the world, we all do. But I do my best to forgive and move on. Using the knowledge that I have now learned made every day with my wife and son, and soon after, my daughter, wonderful. My son became a star student and is now a chemist. My daughter just graduated from OTC. But my wife, that wonderful, beautiful woman, passed away from stomach cancer.
That wonderful woman, my wife Tamara passed away from cancer five and half years ago. That's the tears I was talking about earlier. Oh how I love her. She taught me so much about what it meant to be loved She helped me become a wonderful dad and husband. Before I started my road to redemption, I never stopped to realize how wonderful and beautiful she really was. I knew she was an attractive woman but her heart, her soul, she had so much love inside. She didn't want things. She just wanted a roof over her head, a place to sleep and to have her family around her .She taught me about love and the power of love and that sometimes to love, you have to be tougher and stronger than you never thought you could .This I believe, love can heal all.
A true story by Scott Hasemeier.
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